{"product_id":"zero-grit-creatine-500g","title":"Zero Grit Creatine","description":"\u003cp\u003eCONTRABANDIT ZERO GRIT CREATINE MONOHYDRATE\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e100% Super-Pure · Unflavoured · Ultra Micronised\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDo you need it?\u003c\/strong\u003e \u003cbr\u003eAbsolutely. You could keep taking whatever's currently in your cupboard, the one that's 40% creatine, 60% \"proprietary recovery matrix,\" and 100% marketing budget. The one an influencer got paid to hold up in a mirror selfie between ad reads for teeth whitening and a mattress company. Or you could take the thing that's just... creatine.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWhy this exists Every supplement brand out there is currently telling you their \"science backed premium formula\" is about to \"unlock your potential.\" They paid a guy with a ring light and 60k followers a small fortune to say it convincingly. Despite not being able to pronounce half the ingredients on the label.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWe skipped all of it. No influencer getting a cut. No making Zuck rich with IG and FB ads. No proprietary blend hiding what's actually in the tub. No made-up \"unlock.\" Just the single most studied, most boringly effective supplement in the history of sports science.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eCreatine monohydrate. Made properly, ultra-micronized so it doesn't taste like you took a bite out of Bondi Beach.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFull Product Details\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eProduct: Creatine Monohydrate\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eForm: Ultra-micronized powder, 200 mesh\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAssay: 100% (independently verified)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeavy Metals: Not Detected\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFacility: NSF GMP-certified\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAdditives: None\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAffiliate Codes: None. We couldn't find an influencer willing to take a pay cut to say \"it's just creatine, it just works.\"\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWho it's for\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAnyone tired of paying for the influencer's cut instead of the product\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAnyone whose current tub has more marketing copy on it than actual ingredients\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAnyone who's gagged on the gritty last third of a badly-mixed shake and thought \"surely this isn't normal\"\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePeople who train because it works, not because someone with a discount code told them to\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAnyone who wants the single most proven supplement in existence, without the theatre bolted on top\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWhy you need it Because your muscles don't care about your marketing budget. They respond to creatine monohydrate, full stop. That's not a Zero Grit opinion, that's several decades of actual research. Every other brand knows this too. They just also know \"plain creatine\" doesn't photograph well on a shelf next to something called \"ALPHA SURGE 3000,\" so they dress it up. We didn't bother. It works. That was always going to be the whole pitch.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDocumented Effects (Unverified, but Persistent)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eYou stop reading ingredient labels looking for the catch. There isn't one.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eYour shaker bottle stops smelling like regret\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eYou develop a strange, specific rage toward anyone who says \"proprietary blend\" out loud\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eYour training partner asks what you're on. You say \"creatine.\" They don't believe you. It's still just creatine.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo guarantees. Just patterns.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eImportant Clarification This creatine does not:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ehave a \"cutting-edge delivery system\"\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ecome with a QR code to an ambassador program\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eunlock anything\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003etaste like a beach\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt just works. And sometimes, that's all it takes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHow to use Mix 5g (one scoop) daily with water or your usual shake. No loading phase, no \"cycle,\" no invented protocol to make a boring product sound complicated. Unflavoured, so it disappears into whatever you're already drinking. \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOutrageous Reviews (Allegedly Real Humans) ★★★★★ \"I stopped buying the one with the influencer on the label. My shaker bottle has never been the same.\" — Dave\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e★★★★★ \"Dissolves. Actually dissolves. I didn't know that was an option.\" — Priya\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e★★★★★ \"No affiliate code, no discount, no funnel. Just works. Deeply suspicious. Five stars.\" — Anonymous, delusional\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWARNING Consistent use may result in compliments on your physique, your intellect, and a sudden, violent inability to sit through a 60-second ad read for a \"science-backed\" gummy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe Fine Print Zero Grit ships in 250g, 500g, and 1kg sizes. Subscribe and save, cancel any time. no lock-in, no retention calls, just the same product delivered on your schedule.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"contrabandit","offers":[{"title":"500 grams","offer_id":53786456162618,"sku":null,"price":31.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true},{"title":"1 Kilo","offer_id":53786456195386,"sku":null,"price":56.0,"currency_code":"AUD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0939\/8996\/2042\/files\/CreatinePhotos_d8735f74-05c1-40e1-8b37-ddfc8ce5a168.jpg?v=1784706991","url":"https:\/\/contrabandit.com\/products\/zero-grit-creatine-500g","provider":"contrabandit","version":"1.0","type":"link"}